


In the Shadow of a Name

by Lefaym



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Established Relationship, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Sibling Incest, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:50:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lefaym/pseuds/Lefaym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things matter more than they should. Sometimes there are ways around that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Shadow of a Name

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ambiguously](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/gifts).



> Happy May the 4th, ambiguously! Thank you for your many wonderful prompts.
> 
> Thank you also to fera_festiva for betaing, cheerleading, and discussing ideas with me.

They don’t know at first.

Leia will never forget the way her entire body freezes when the routine med-droid test returns the positive result, when she realises that she’s been so pre-occupied this last month that she’s missed her shot; that somewhere in between the mission to Onderon where Luke almost fell to a Force-trained assassin, and the diplomatic incident at the Bothan Memorial, she’s skipped her regular medical, and now the datapad on the wall is displaying very clearly: **Pregnant: 21 standard days**.

She’s been with both of them, all three tangled together in every way possible, and they’ve held each other even closer since Luke’s near-miss. Luke and Han inside her, one after the other; Luke and Han together while she watches with a hand between her thighs; Luke underneath her and Han behind, both at the same time...

They’ve told themselves that it doesn’t matter, ever since that last night on Endor, and it doesn’t, it really doesn’t: she and Luke were nineteen when they first knew each other, and for all that they’ve felt a connection from the start… well, it’s different. If they both love Han and he loves them too, then why shouldn’t they? Surely they’ve all earned the right to take a little happiness where they can find it, after everything.

But then suddenly it does matter, because she and Luke might not have grown up together as siblings, they might not look alike, but they still share a genetic code, and half of that code is from… Leia tries not to think about that at any time, and she especially doesn’t want to think about it now.

* * *

She tells Luke and Han that night, in the Senatorial suite officially designated to her and Han, and unofficially inhabited by Luke and Chewbacca too. Luke and Han both grow still, just as she had done, and Luke shields himself from her, which hurts in a way that Leia can’t quite fathom right now.

Han is the one to thaw things out.

“Seems to me there’s just one question.”

Both Luke and Leia turn their head to look at him, but neither of them speak. Leia holds her breath.

“Do you want this kid? Do you want to carry it?” In that moment, Leia loves Han more than she ever has, and she vows that she will forgive him every infuriating thing that he does for the next six months.

“Leia?” says Luke. There’s no pressure in his voice, but he’s distant; he’s pulled everything back into that almost unnatural Jedi calm.

Leia doesn’t know the answer until she opens her mouth, but when she does she simply says, “Yes. Yes, I want to.” 

Her stomach still twists in fear at the thought of what might happen, of what might be happening inside her right now, but she’s sure of herself too.

“Well then,” says Han. “We’re having a baby.” He gives her that half smile of his, and suddenly Luke’s feelings are back, and Leia knows that both of them would have been there no matter how she’d answered Han’s question.

* * *

It doesn’t solve everything. They still need to know, they need to be prepared, just in case… and there’s still something that Luke’s not saying too, something that he’s hiding from both of them, locked away deep.

They put it off for months in the name of being careful: Leia’s profile is high enough to attract the attention of scandal merchants looking for a big story, or blackmailers after more than a few credits. Luke and Han aren’t exactly unknown either. Sentient beings all have their weaknesses, and even med-droids can have their data stolen.

In the end, Han and Chewie procure the genetic testing kit from one of Han’s contacts. Chewie assures them that if anyone tries to trace it, the trail will go cold with one non-existent Ga Doni of Coruscant. It has to be good enough. 

Then there’s a tense three hours while they wait for the results, in the private living area of their suite. Leia’s nausea has abated for the day, but it is replaced by a gnawing hollow in her stomach. She snaps at Han at least five times, in spite of her vow, but he snaps at her first. Even Luke is frayed around the edges; there’s something almost like anger in his voice when he asks them both to please be quiet, because he can’t focus while they’re bickering. Chewbacca wisely stays out of their way.

They all jump when a loud chime announces that the test is done.

Leia’s fingernails dig into her palms as the results appear on the screen:

**Fetus:** Human, Male; 92 standard days

**Subject 1:**  
Human, Female  
Relationship to Fetus: Positive [maternal; 50%]

**Subject 2:**  
Human, Male  
Relationship to Fetus: Positive [lateral-maternal; 25%]

**Subject 3:**  
Human, Male  
Relationship to Fetus: Positive [paternal; 50%]




There’s a loud whoop in her ears as Han sees the results, and Leia feels relief crashing over her. Han pulls both of them into a hug, and his joy is infectious, but -- there, just for a moment, from Luke. It’s gone almost before she registers it, and then there’s only the same joy and relief that she feels herself.

Han doesn't have the Force to guide him, but Leia thinks he must have picked up on something too, because he kisses Luke first, slow and deep, before he turns to Leia and kisses her just as thoroughly. He’s wearing the goofiest grin she’s ever seen when he pulls away, and then he’s calling for Chewie to come celebrate with them.

Chewbacca and Han break out the Corellian rum, though Luke doesn’t take any and neither does Leia. They all start by talking about old times, the stories that they’ll tell the baby when he’s here, but too many of those old memories lead to painful places, so Han starts telling them about an old smuggling job instead. Chewie interjects to remind them that it’s all lies, except for the bit where Han had all his clothes stolen and had to run naked through a Twi’lek village. As Chewie and Han debate the finer points of the tale (“They didn’t _laugh_ ,” Han insists), Luke slips away from them.

Leia allows a few minutes before she follows him into the study that he uses as a meditation space. Luke is sitting on a soft mat gazing out the window, but he turns toward her when she enters.

“You felt it, didn’t you?” he asks.

She nods.

“I’m sorry,” says Luke. “I tried not to…”

“I know.” She sits beside him and takes his left hand in both of hers. 

“It’s just,” he starts, and then swallows. “I know it’s for the best. I know it’s better this way. But… it could only ever be an accident, for you and me. You and Han, you would’ve tried in a year or two anyway. But you and I will never try on purpose, and we’ll always be so careful from now on, I promise I’ll be just as careful as you, and…”

“Now there’ll never be another chance,” Leia finishes for him.

“If I could’ve stopped myself from hoping, I would have.” 

Leia lets her head rest against his shoulder. “I wish…” Leia says, and then she tries to tell him without words. _I wish I could feel the same way, and I’m sorry that I can’t._

“I know it shouldn’t matter,” says Luke.

She pulls back from him, just far enough that she can look him in the eye. “It won’t,” she says. Her voice is fierce, almost angry, and she is glad of it. “He’ll be yours too, Luke, I--”

Leia doesn’t finish because Luke kisses her.

It’s a hungry kiss. His hand curls behind her head as she leans into him, and the noise he makes in the back of his throat vibrates through her whole body.

It’s not often that they’re together like this, just the two of them without Han. But right now it’s what Luke needs, and it’s what she needs too. There’s a fearful intimacy in the way they reach for the fastenings on each others’ clothes, in they the familiar planes of their bodies pressed together, with nothing and no-one to shield them from what they are to each other. Leia feels raw and open as she lowers herself onto him, as she gasps at how good it feels to have him inside her. 

Luke cups the small, barely-perceptible swell of her abdomen with his hands as they move together. Leia allows herself to feel his growing urgency, and she feeds it with her own. They find their release at the same moment; he cries out as she shudders around him.

She curls herself around him after, her chest warm against his back.

And that’s when she says it, without giving herself time to think, because if she does she might change her mind: 

“You’ll name him, won’t you?”

Luke is still for a moment before he turns himself around in her arms. “Are you sure?”

Leia nods, forcing herself not to add any qualifications, no “anything but”.

“But don’t you want to…”

“No,” says Leia, cutting him off the moment she catches his thought. She doesn’t want her son to carry the name of the father who raised her; she doesn’t want to be reminded of that loss. (And she has to trust, she has to, that Luke won’t choose the name that would remind her of worse…)

“What about Han?”

“He’ll understand.” Leia knows that he will. This won’t be one of the things that they fight over.

Luke buries his face against her shoulder. “Alright,” he says into her skin.

* * *

Three weeks later they’re on the Falcon, on an unofficial mission to Sennoa, where fighting has broken out between two factions who both claim to be loyal to the New Republic. They aren’t anticipating the attack from the ever-more-scattered remnants of the Imperial fleet, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t prepared to deal with it when it happens. Still, it’s a close thing.

They collapse together afterwards, when they’ve made the jump into hyperspace and the Falcon is getting along well enough for Chewie to take the controls by himself. There’s that familiar exhilaration and relief, which they’ve shared so often now that it’s almost become comfortable.

As exhilaration gives way to weariness, the sometimes-uneven hum of the Falcon’s hyperdrive becomes the only sound in the cabin. Until--

“Ben,” says Luke, seemingly out of nowhere.

“What?” Han turns to look at him.

“Can you see him?” Leia asks, because she knows that the ghosts of the old Jedi still visit Luke, sometimes.

Luke laughs softly. “No, it’s just -- that’s what we should name him. The baby. None of us would have met if it weren’t for Obi-Wan, and I knew him as Ben, so if it’s alright with both of you…”

Han smiles. “Sounds good to me, kid.”

Leia takes longer to respond, because although she can tell that Luke is happy, behind that she can feel the shadow of the name he would have chosen first, had he not loved her too much to cause her the pain. It’s a small shadow though, and easy to push away.

“It’s perfect,” says Leia. “Absolutely perfect.”

Han’s head is against her shoulder, and Luke’s is resting on her chest, tucked beneath her chin. Soon they’ll have to move, when it becomes uncomfortable to stay here or when the hyperdrive malfunctions, but for now, for this moment -- Leia thinks that she didn’t get it wrong, because this is about as close to perfect as they’re going to get.

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt from ambiguously: _Luke clearly named Ben. How did he talk Leia and Han into that?_


End file.
